Blue Laws Make Strange Bedfellows
To
paraphrase Apocalypse Now, the bullshit piles up
so fast you need wings to stay above it. In case
you haven’t heard, the Colorado’s Brewers
Guild, a cabal of local microbrewers, have voted
as a group (with a few dissensions) against supporting
Blake Harrison’s noble attempt to crush the
evil blue laws that keep us from visiting the liquor
store on Sunday.
It doesn’t seem logical. After all, the repeal
of the blue law would benefit the microbrewers because
they don’t produce 3.2% beer, the only beer
grocery stores can sell on Sunday. So why did they
vote against it? (Got your wings on? You’re
going to need ‘em.) Because, the way they figure
it, if the law passes, a pro-drinking momentum would
build up (Heaven forbid) and the next thing you know
grocery stores will want to sell wine, liquor and
full strength beer, and those stores are less likely
to carry the microbrewers’ products than the
smaller liquors stores who swear they will be driven
out of business if they’re allowed to sell
booze on Sunday. Also, the microbreweries are concerned
the liquors stores that sell their brew will take
business away their their bars on game day.
Did you get that? Good. Now pick up the phone
and give me a call because I’m having a hard
time getting a handle on it. Why would the smaller
liquor stores go out of business because they can
sell on Sunday? Even the liquor stores are having
a hard time explaining why, unless it’s because
they’d refuse to open.
What it comes down to is everyone is rabidly concerned
about their own selfish interests to the degree they’ve
lost sight of what makes you, their customers happy.
I’m a big believer in supporting local businesses,
but it’s hard to think globally and drink locally
when the very people that produce beer seem interested
in restricting our right to drink it. I personally
will not buy a local microbrew (aside from the dissenters’)
until they start acting like they’re part of
the community and not a gang of out-of-town pickpockets.
The largest of the microbreweries, the Wynkoop, also
seems to have a problem with the dissemination of
independent thought. If you’ve been in there
lately you may have noticed the dozens of different
free publications that used to fill their foyer have
vanished, I’m assuming into the dumpster. And
they’re not coming back. When asked why the
sudden crackdown, a staff member explained “it
was too cluttered and dirty.” What makes it
all the more strange is Wynkoop advertises in the
most prominent of the free pubs, including Westword,
Go-Go and, yes, Modern Drunkard. Go figure.
Is there any hope at all in this oncoming night of
neo-prohibitionism? Well, a little. The little town
of Tallmadge, Ohio recently ended prohibition. For
more than 80 years, since national prohibition was
enacted in 1920, the town has been bone dry until
voters recently decided no booze was not enough.
One courageous local businessman even has plans for
a microbrewery. Modern Drunkard welcomes Tallmadge
back to the world of drinking.
Denver’s microbrewers could take a lesson
from them.
Frank Kelly Rich
