The Bender Defined

[coqui_chris]

I really like the majority of what's said in this thread, but here's something I've always had trouble with ...

The difference between the Modern Drunkard and the run-of the mill drunkard or"alcoholic" is our control of the alcohol. In the hands of the weak, alcohol becomes a dangerous and seductive djinn, promising greate things but slowly taking control of your will and your soul. In the hands of the Modern Drunkard, alcohol is a tool, as simple as a wheel or a fulcrum and as powerful as a cyclotron or a library.

The bender is when you can give up control of you tools and give in to the drink, let its mercurial whims be your only commands. You can dive into the vortex of complete intoxication and feel the holy thunder of liquory oblivion at your fingertips, let the winds of boozy abandon carry you to the most dangerous of ecstatic heights.

The true Drunkard can make this kind of committment, revel in this kind of abandon, know a freedom that others can't......and when he's done, weeks later, seize control of his tools and once again set them to his bidding.

Now, I certainly think that this is commedable behavior and an inspiration for anyone who wants to shed the ruffian image that surrounds drunks, although whether or not this is to be abolished is for another debate.

But what I will say is this: With such criteria, how can we lay claims to such people as F. Scott Fitzgerald? After all, I don't see how having to be held upright by Ernest Hemmingway so that you can vomit into a toilet or a sink is handling your liquor. Furthermore, Tender is the Night is basically Fitzgerald's fictional chronicle of a "pyschiatrist" whose brilliance and promise deteriorate in direct proportion with the physical and mental tolls that a highly dramatic lifestyle of being married to a beautiful but schizophrenic wife while also being a self-abusing drunkard has on a man's resolve, transparently coinciding with his own life. Certainly I wouldn't say that the man had the ability to turn on and off his self-control when the time could suit him for some reckless abandon only to return to the world of respectability at the end of a good romp.

[whiskeyprick]

You're the old man and the bender is the fish.

I like that.

When it ends you're half naked, three-quarters starved, and seven-eighths crazy. The fish is in the boat, but you still can't say definitively who won....but, either way, maybe for the only time in your life, you're in full possession of your soul and unequivocally better for it.

This pretty much hits nail on the head.

The only thing I would add is that if you can acheive your bender without any consequences then you have truly succeeded.

[Judge]

nice, accurate, and inspirational. But you gotta allow three- or four-day benders for the over-40 crowd. You'll see.

Speak for yourself, old man/woman.

"I'm 37. I'm not old."

I can't just call you man can I?

[Barca]

I really like the majority of what's said in this thread, but here's something I've always had trouble with ...

The difference between the Modern Drunkard and the run-of the mill drunkard or"alcoholic" is our control of the alcohol. In the hands of the weak, alcohol becomes a dangerous and seductive djinn, promising greate things but slowly taking control of your will and your soul. In the hands of the Modern Drunkard, alcohol is a tool, as simple as a wheel or a fulcrum and as powerful as a cyclotron or a library.

The bender is when you can give up control of you tools and give in to the drink, let its mercurial whims be your only commands. You can dive into the vortex of complete intoxication and feel the holy thunder of liquory oblivion at your fingertips, let the winds of boozy abandon carry you to the most dangerous of ecstatic heights.

The true Drunkard can make this kind of committment, revel in this kind of abandon, know a freedom that others can't......and when he's done, weeks later, seize control of his tools and once again set them to his bidding.

Now, I certainly think that this is commedable behavior and an inspiration for anyone who wants to shed the ruffian image that surrounds drunks, although whether or not this is to be abolished is for another debate.

But what I will say is this: With such criteria, how can we lay claims to such people as F. Scott Fitzgerald? After all, I don't see how having to be held upright by Ernest Hemmingway so that you can vomit into a toilet or a sink is handling your liquor. Furthermore, Tender is the Night is basically Fitzgerald's fictional chronicle of a "pyschiatrist" whose brilliance and promise deteriorate in direct proportion with the physical and mental tolls that a highly dramatic lifestyle of being married to a beautiful but schizophrenic wife while also being a self-abusing drunkard has on a man's resolve, transparently coinciding with his own life. Certainly I wouldn't say that the man had the ability to turn on and off his self-control when the time could suit him for some reckless abandon only to return to the world of respectability at the end of a good romp.

Without addressing what I believe to be your point, I'll say two things. I think Fitzgerald would say that the issue wasn't the alcohol but the difficulties brought about by insanity as well as the difficulties created by very sane observations on the pointlessness and misery of life. The fin-de-siecle, or Lost Generation, others struggled with their nihilism and existentialism and, in most cases, the fact that they were only borderline sane to begin with.

When you combine a tenuous grip on reality with a propensity for extreme drunkenness you're playing a whole new game. The reality is that a bender would be a break for Fitzgerald. Like Bukowski, we're talking about someone in an uber-realm, a higher level of genius, of drunkenness, and of insanity.

The fact that we talk about rules for benders, for drunkennes, for behavior, even in jest, inherently means we're playing a game with fewer cards, or at least less colorfully painted cards, than those men.

To address what i believe was your point, a great bender done correctly is a magnificent thing, a transcendent act akin to the creation of a marvelous work of art. To fail in the attempt is certainly not a disqualifier. In fact, the attempt is so noble, that it is an act of greatness in and of itself. Our heroes are our heroes not because they were perfect but because they strove for perfection in many arenas including drinking, and they frequently succeeded.

[Oggar]

This pretty much hits nail on the head.

The only thing I would add is that if you can acheive your bender without any consequences then you have truly succeeded.

If a bender doesn't have consequences it isn't a bender.

[coqui_chris]

I really like the majority of what's said in this thread, but here's something I've always had trouble with ...

The difference between the Modern Drunkard and the run-of the mill drunkard or"alcoholic" is our control of the alcohol. In the hands of the weak, alcohol becomes a dangerous and seductive djinn, promising greate things but slowly taking control of your will and your soul. In the hands of the Modern Drunkard, alcohol is a tool, as simple as a wheel or a fulcrum and as powerful as a cyclotron or a library.

The bender is when you can give up control of you tools and give in to the drink, let its mercurial whims be your only commands. You can dive into the vortex of complete intoxication and feel the holy thunder of liquory oblivion at your fingertips, let the winds of boozy abandon carry you to the most dangerous of ecstatic heights.

The true Drunkard can make this kind of committment, revel in this kind of abandon, know a freedom that others can't......and when he's done, weeks later, seize control of his tools and once again set them to his bidding.

Now, I certainly think that this is commedable behavior and an inspiration for anyone who wants to shed the ruffian image that surrounds drunks, although whether or not this is to be abolished is for another debate.

But what I will say is this: With such criteria, how can we lay claims to such people as F. Scott Fitzgerald? After all, I don't see how having to be held upright by Ernest Hemmingway so that you can vomit into a toilet or a sink is handling your liquor. Furthermore, Tender is the Night is basically Fitzgerald's fictional chronicle of a "pyschiatrist" whose brilliance and promise deteriorate in direct proportion with the physical and mental tolls that a highly dramatic lifestyle of being married to a beautiful but schizophrenic wife while also being a self-abusing drunkard has on a man's resolve, transparently coinciding with his own life. Certainly I wouldn't say that the man had the ability to turn on and off his self-control when the time could suit him for some reckless abandon only to return to the world of respectability at the end of a good romp.

Without addressing what I believe to be your point, I'll say two things. I think Fitzgerald would say that the issue wasn't the alcohol but the difficulties brought about by insanity as well as the difficulties created by very sane observations on the pointlessness and misery of life. The fin-de-siecle, or Lost Generation, others struggled with their nihilism and existentialism and, in most cases, the fact that they were only borderline sane to begin with.

When you combine a tenuous grip on reality with a propensity for extreme drunkenness you're playing a whole new game. The reality is that a bender would be a break for Fitzgerald. Like Bukowski, we're talking about someone in an uber-realm, a higher level of genius, of drunkenness, and of insanity.

The fact that we talk about rules for benders, for drunkennes, for behavior, even in jest, inherently means we're playing a game with fewer cards, or at least less colorfully painted cards, than those men.

To address what i believe was your point, a great bender done correctly is a magnificent thing, a transcendent act akin to the creation of a marvelous work of art. To fail in the attempt is certainly not a disqualifier. In fact, the attempt is so noble, that it is an act of greatness in and of itself. Our heroes are our heroes not because they were perfect but because they strove for perfection in many arenas including drinking, and they frequently succeeded.

As always, very well-put. There's some food for thought for my dreary workday.

[Leftboston]

beautiful. and i agree with frankandbeansporkrinds that the term bender is thrown around too loosely. heavy drinking and benders are not synonymous. oggar's guidelines are perfect, and make me seriously long for a bender. damn, i'm thirsty.

Agree and agree.

People get drunk on long weekends and call it a bender when it's really just a long drunk weekend. Benders go from one weekend to another and longer if the vacation is planned corectly.

Oh and consequences will be had if it's done correctly.

[frankennietzsche]

This is a refreshing discussion, certainly.

[RIPT]

beautiful. and i agree with frankandbeansporkrinds that the term bender is thrown around too loosely. heavy drinking and benders are not synonymous. oggar's guidelines are perfect, and make me seriously long for a bender. damn, i'm thirsty.

Agree and agree.

People get drunk on long weekends and call it a bender when it's really just a long drunk weekend. Benders go from one weekend to another and longer if the vacation is planned corectly.

Oh and consequences will be had if it's done correctly.

Who said a vacation was required? I've known people who's benders lasted for years. The record is 17 years, in one case. A friend of mine, who used to own a bar, consumed 1 case of beer, 1 liter of red wine, and at least 3 scotch & sodas per day on average during that time. I was unemployed for over a year once and used to hang at his bar every day and witnessed this, so I know he isn't bullshitting me.

He decided to sell the bar and tone it down after seeing many of his friends die off and realized that he would too if he didn't stop. Yet, he still drinks, albeit modestly. I drank with him last Sunday and told him he should donate his liver to science when he dies. It's got to be the strongest liver on the planet!

[meGinAndTonic]

I love this thread, but I have to say, benders do not have to be more than a week long to be a "true bender"

I mean god, I've been blacked out for 72 hours straight before, I'd call that a bender!

I've never gone on a week long bender. I mean, I'd love to, but I've never had that many days off in a row.

[meGinAndTonic]

Also, I have to say, a TRUE bender means drinking all day. Beginning in the morning, or whenever you get up

For me, I get up early in the morning no matter what, and when on a bender, I drink immediately.

I'm sure this is common knowledge, but I had to say it ffs

[Barca]

I love this thread, but I have to say, benders do not have to be more than a week long to be a "true bender"

I mean god, I've been blacked out for 72 hours straight before, I'd call that a bender!

I've never gone on a week long bender. I mean, I'd love to, but I've never had that many days off in a row.

The thesis of this thread isn't that you have to drink for a week straight to be a righteous Drunkard or that drinking all day or all weekend is not a glorious thing. We're just trying to straighten out the terminology to help it maintain its meaning, or actually, its divinity. Some drink with watermelon and triple sec and other things in it might be tasty and you might serve it in a martini glass but that doesn't make it a martini. Likewise, there's nothing better than getting up and drinking all day, but, in an of itself, that's not a bender. It can be an endrunkening, a binge, a hoedown, even a bacchanalia, but we're suggesting the particular word "bender" be reserved for the supreme holy rites of endrunkening that last at least a week.

[Judge]

I love this thread, but I have to say, benders do not have to be more than a week long to be a "true bender"

I mean god, I've been blacked out for 72 hours straight before, I'd call that a bender!

I've never gone on a week long bender. I mean, I'd love to, but I've never had that many days off in a row.

The thesis of this thread isn't that you have to drink for a week straight to be a righteous Drunkard or that drinking all day or all weekend is not a glorious thing. We're just trying to straighten out the terminology to help it maintain its meaning, or actually, its divinity. Some drink with watermelon and triple sec and other things in it might be tasty and you might serve it in a martini glass but that doesn't make it a martini. Likewise, there's nothing better than getting up and drinking all day, but, in an of itself, that's not a bender. It can be an endrunkening, a binge, a hoedown, even a bacchanalia, but we're suggesting the particular word "bender" be reserved for the supreme holy rites of endrunkening that last at least a week.

Now that's always a good word. Doesn't get much use though.

[whiskeyprick]

This pretty much hits nail on the head.

The only thing I would add is that if you can acheive your bender without any consequences then you have truly succeeded.

If a bender doesn't have consequences it isn't a bender.

kick the "I have a dream" speech.

[bluebottle]

i don't think a bender should have any time constraints attached to it, as in "a week," or "several days." what meggsy said about waking up and feeling the call for it, and downing the first one that consolidates the previous night's intake, well, then that's keeping the bender alive. there is no pussyfooting around when it comes to a bender. it can be anywhere between (at the very least) three days and on into the months and years. as long as you keep and strive for that alcohol rush, the bender is on.