I credit the bourbon

[Savage]

A while back, I saw a few silvery hairs, but some many months later, I'm still at the blonde-mousy stage. Maybe I'll be like my grandmas-one was brown haired with some silver threads, until she left us in her seventies, or my Mia, whose thick red hair finally started to fade in her eighties, and got a bit of white. On second thought, though I swill the bourbon and Mia was quite the wino, Grandma never touched the stuff. Hmm, maybe I could get a grant to study this. Drunkard studies. I think this should be offered at university.

[ThirstyDrunk]

When I don't get my bath I take it out on the slaves.

[Savage]

I can wash myself, but if I don't get my massage, I'm a total bitch for the rest of the day.