Zakk Wylde is fun to drink with/arrogant barstaff, fuck off

[gnarkill]

What started out as a pretty awesome evening turned ugly for me the other night. So, I was out and about in Denver the other night with an old friend that I hadn't seen in ages. We ended up wandering into a bar( the name of which I refuse to dignify by mentioning), and who should we see there but Zakk Wylde, guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne and founder of the band Black Label Society. Things were looking up. Zakk is one of my favorite musicians, and, by my estimation, he is one of the greatest guitarists alive.
I started off by buying him and and several of the people around him a round of Black Tooth Grins. For those who don't know, a Black Tooth Grin is a shot of Crown Royal witha splash of coke, and it was the favorite drink of its inventor, 'Dimebag' Darrell Abbott, the famed guitarist of Pantera and good friend of Wylde's who was murdered onstage by a derranged fan. So, this round of Blacktooths set a good tone for the evening, and Zakk and I began to talk. Zakk was cool as shit, and he couldn't have been more down to earth. He had none of the self-centered arrogance that is so common in famous musicians, and he took the time to get drunk with me, just another random admirer of his music. This dude is a genuinely good person.
now to the shitty part of the evening. The bartender at this place was your classic conceited, arrogant-ass, self-important piece of shit that you find working in trendy bars that serve bullshit like appletinis. And that's exactly what this shitty bar was. Oh well, at least I was drinking with a musician I admire. Anyways, this bartender was rude to me all evening. I always go out of my way to be polite and show respect to barstaff, and this night was no different. I was kind to this bartender all evening, but for some reason he went out of his way to treat me like I had taken a dump on the bartop. When the time came to settle up, I told him how I felt about his service, and I told him that because of it, I wasn't going to tip. He proceeded to spray me with the soda gun. Fair enough. I understand how rude it is to not tip, as I work in the service industry myself, but in this case I felt the situation warranted it. So I gave him the finger and left.
Here's were it gets even worse. Two little shits that hadn't even been a part of the confrontation, that I hadn't even said a word to, that had absolutely nothing to do with the situation followed me out of the bar to try and kick my ass. They ran up and sucker punched me in the back of the head, and as I didn't see them coming, it knocked me to the ground. They then kicked me while down. I got to my feet and told them I wasn't going to fight them. I've put my brawling days behind me, and I refuse to fight. Then, the bartender that started it all came outside and split us up. He asked me if I was ok, I said yes, and that I wasn't gonna call the cops. That'd be some sissy-ass shit to do. That being said, I still want to get back at the bartender. I'm pretty fucking livid about the situation, and I refuse to let him get away with it. I intend to get back in a non-violent way that won't land me in prison. any suggestions?

[Duke Pukem Forever]

Umm, be his first erotic homosexual experience. That'll teach him.

[Surreal]

kill him and wear his skin,.

or bugger him.

either way, yu'bve proved your poibnt.

Dimebag rocks...... Cheers.

[Resident Asshole]

I was told the Blacktooth was Jager and Coke. Sounded awful to me. Crown and Coke sounds much better.

Congrats on the night. Take a girl in with you next time make out with her at the rail, puke on the bar and run out on your tab. That would really piss me off if someone did that in my bar. Also pee your pants while sitting on a bar stool.

[Rip Rufus]

Zakk and the rest of Black Label Society are playing in AC soon. Can't fucking wait!

[Ptflea2]

Ha! Go with what Surreal said. Kill him and wear his skin. "It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again."

[BeerMakesMeSmart]

Tipsy McStagger went to school with Zakk.

My friend used to work for a record promotions company and worked one of Zakk's records. Said he was an awesome guy. Always showed up to the office with a six pack of Heiniken under his arm.

One time they went to a restaurant and Zakk orders a Long Island Iced Tea. The waitress brings it and Zakk tells her to go get him another one. She's says, "Why not wait until you finish that one." Zakk downs it and says, "Now bring me two."

[fizzmaster]

Wylde seems like an awesome guy. That part of the story rules. I guess to get back at him, puking on the bar and pissing yourself, like RA said, sounds like some mega Ghandi type nonviolent retribution.

[gnarkill]

One time they went to a restaurant and Zakk orders a Long Island Iced Tea. The waitress brings it and Zakk tells her to go get him another one. She's says, "Why not wait until you finish that one." Zakk downs it and says, "Now bring me two."

That rules so hard. Yeah, I wish that night had just been me getting drunk with him instead of all the nonsense with the dickhead bartender. Zakk was a pretty cool motherfucker.

[Negromancer]

Find out where he lives and put roadkill in his mailbox. Then break into the bar after closing time and write the name of his favorite ladyfriend in your own faeces on the counter.

[Wingman]

Find out where he lives and put roadkill in his mailbox. Then break into the bar after closing time and write the name of his favorite ladyfriend in your own faeces on the counter.

remind me never to piss you off. or, you know, mildly inconvinence you.

[Negromancer]

Find out where he lives and put roadkill in his mailbox. Then break into the bar after closing time and write the name of his favorite ladyfriend in your own faeces on the counter.

remind me never to piss you off. or, you know, mildly inconvinence you.

I'm not that violent in reality, though I surely don't mind it! I think I shook most of it off in high school though, where I almost had to make people think I was crazy to avoid getting my ass kicked.

[lmr5150]

Great story. Rejoice in the fact that you had the opportunity to drink with a guitar legend. I would love to have a drink with Eddie Van Halen, but he is undrunk and a prick. No soup for me.

[Negromancer]

I can understand people wanting to spend time and hang around with their idols. Though personally speaking, I've never really been bothered with that dream of hanging out with somebody famours or successfull. I mean, they're just people like you and me in the end. Sometimes they're even bigger assholes than the rest of us, and I can imagine I would personally hate not being able to blend in incognito into a crowd, or be able to drink alone in a bar. As a metal fan in Norway, which has a population total under five million citizens, you often bump into musicians of varying stature.
It's always a good laugh in the summer months to see the invasions of black pvc clad, corpsepainted southen europeans following some of these idols around like ducklings after their mother. I once bought Gaahl a beer our of pure sympathy, but though I suspect afterwards he actually enjoyed some of the attention, especially from the nicely groomed italian goth boys.

Not pointing any fingers or anything! By all means I mean no offence. I've had my share of drinks with musicians here, though most of them have been friends, or friends of friends- or distant relations of friends of friends even. There are of course some stars I'd gladly share a drink with, though if only to discuss politics, philosophy and ideas we have in common. But then again, I you can in theory do that with just about anyone.

[Duke Pukem Forever]

As a metal fan in Norway, which has a population total under five million citizens, you often bump into musicians of varying stature.
It's always a good laugh in the summer months to see the invasions of black pvc clad, corpsepainted southen europeans following some of these idols around like ducklings after their mother. I once bought Gaahl a beer our of pure sympathy, but though I suspect afterwards he actually enjoyed some of the attention, especially from the nicely groomed italian goth boys.

Oh Gaahl, Satan's favorite queer. I was really disappointed that a Golgotha DVD didn't have any sort of extra features, as a friend of mine had told me Gaahl took a crew on a tour of his house and pointed out his wine collection, etc.... oh lawd, that would be much lulz.