Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

[Dr. Dotto S. Blotto]

unlike the Prosperity Social Club in Cleveland. UGH! I am clueless as to how people like to drink there. The staff is sullen and it's rife with hipsters. feh.

If your place is brightly lit, it'd fuckin' well better have slot machines and cocktail waitresses with free booze. I'm just sayin'.

[BeerMakesMeSmart]

Ditto, Dotto.

[Dr. Dotto S. Blotto]

I think this begs the question of where to post "My Least Favorite Bar."

[Mayhem]

I like dark. I like sullen.

[Rip Rufus]

I like dark. I like sullen.

And dank. You gotta have dank.

[Dr. Dotto S. Blotto]

And I'm learning my lesson that I no longer live in Vegas. The land where if you are a complete, inebriated fool on Saturday, they don't remember who you were on Tuesday. Cleveland...not so much.

I also got ribbed for having a beer with my lunch. MY LUNCH! WTF!!!???? This town has noooooooooooooooooo room or right to rib ME when all they have left are the brightly lit, hipster "social clubs". Fuckoff! I can't wait to move back to a town that embraces me for the fun drunk I am and not for what I do at noon.

Man, I miss the Double Down.

[BeerMakesMeSmart]

And I'm learning my lesson that I no longer live in Vegas. The land where if you are a complete, inebriated fool on Saturday, they don't remember who you were on Tuesday. Cleveland...not so much.

I also got ribbed for having a beer with my lunch. MY LUNCH! WTF!!!???? This town has noooooooooooooooooo room or right to rib ME when all they have left are the brightly lit, hipster "social clubs". Fuckoff! I can't wait to move back to a town that embraces me for the fun drunk I am and not for what I do at noon.

Man, I miss the Double Down.

But Cleveland has great mustard!

[Mayhem]

And I'm learning my lesson that I no longer live in Vegas. The land where if you are a complete, inebriated fool on Saturday, they don't remember who you were on Tuesday. Cleveland...not so much.

I also got ribbed for having a beer with my lunch. MY LUNCH! WTF!!!???? This town has noooooooooooooooooo room or right to rib ME when all they have left are the brightly lit, hipster "social clubs". Fuckoff! I can't wait to move back to a town that embraces me for the fun drunk I am and not for what I do at noon.

Man, I miss the Double Down.

But Cleveland has great mustard!

Oh shit, I forgot about stadium mustard. We'll be in Cleveland for our anniversary in September and I'm bringing back a case of the stuff.

[StefanoSbronzato]

I like dark. I like sullen.

And dank. You gotta have dank.

Carl: You ain’t thinking of getting rid of the dank, are you, Moe?
Moe: Ehh, maybe I am.
Carl: Oh, but Moe: the dank. The dank!

But yeah, I find bright lights to be annoying. Same with loud music. That's why I'll take a bar crawl over clubbing any day (fuck my age group and their sad obsession with discos). My favourite place is quite possibly the ultimate dive bar: it's built into one seriously ugly office building and attracts a mixture of suspisciously big-handed hookers, shifty-looking Albanian guys who almost certainly work for the mafia, various dazed trippers and, erm, me. I also sometimes see a professor from the university in there--he totally rocks the "miserable old drunk" look, complete with red wine stains all over his shirt. Always has some wise (if somewhat bitter) words to impart. Last time the toilets were cleaned, it was probably by order of Mussolini. Barstools double as ashtrays. Can't see shit due to the low lighting and dense clouds of second-hand smoke.
I think the main appeal about this place is that, dodgy clientelle aside, I can really relax in there, safe in the knowledge that no one expects me to act like I actually enjoy house music, or pose for stupid Facebook photos with girls than won't wanna sleep with me anyway. You can keep your overpriced "student-friendly" nightspots, this drunk would rather spend his Euros elsewhere.

The fact that the blonde barmaid always greets me with a smile and a cold Guinness doesn't hurt, either ;D

[Bounced]

Unlike what Drew Carey said... Cleveland sucks.

[joanaugusts]

Does anyone know which one is the true mustard from stadium and Bertman's?i heard that Stadium mustard is a copycat.Is it so?

[Resident Asshole]

We made this shot up. It's basically a Washington Apple, but a cheaper version with Seagram's instead of Crown.

For some reason we called it a Cleveland Apple.

3 parts Seagram's 7
2 parts Apple Pucker
1 part Cran juice

[Cowboy Joe]

While I'll totally agree that bright lights have no place in a good bar, I'll go out and say that you can be 'lit' and a good bar. Case in point is one of my favorite spots, Liquor Lyle's in Minneapolis. You can see the faces of the people across the bar from you, but the place has that wonderful red/pink lighting that reminds me of the best TV shows from the '70s. Jim Rockford would drink there....so I'm cool with it.

[willerror]

I know a couple good, cool (as in temp), dark, burnished-wood bars with glowing liquor bottles and polished railings. Problem is, when I go with friends they want to sit *outside* if it's "nice" out. Argh! When it's hot out I want to be inside hiding away in a chill, well-lubricated corner; if it's cold out I want to huddle inside in the warmth of a bourbon or Irish whiskey. Also factor in that I'm a nonsmoker in a town full of smokers that's banned smoking indoors and this can be a real issue. But yes, nothing like a dark, shadowy bar to let the night have its way with you...

[fizzmaster]

I hate brightly lit bars, they reek of amateurism. Darker the better.