So I got handcuffed last night

by **nelto** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 12:50 am

This will be the stupidest thing you will ever read about someone getting arrested. It is all fact and I won't exaggerate the story in the slightest.

Last night 2 mates and I went out in the town in Brisbane. Had a box of rum before we left to go into the city. Got there at about 1 am or thereabouts. In a pub, good time being had by all. Anyway I start to get a bit hungry and say 'Hey boys, lets go get a kebab and then go to the casino.' Everyone was happy with that, so that's what we did. I got my kebab and walking down the street my 2 mates disappear, so I'm out of town, never been to Brisbane before and my phone was dead. I spot 2 Police cars across the road and think 'alright, I'll just ask these respectable members of the community to help me out'. This is how the conversation went:

Me: "Hey mate do you reckon you'd be able to give me a lift to southport?''
Cop: ''Southport on the gold coast?''
Me: ''Yeah''
Cop: ''You're being arrested for being drunk in public''

So I got handcuffed and put in the back of the paddy wagon with a bloke who just beat someone up with a shopping trolley pole. Get to the police station and the bird fills out all my forms and goes "Do you have an mental of physical illnesses?'' and I say "yeah I've got a lung disease and I get pnuemonia heaps easy so do you reckon i'd be able to grab a blanket?'' (They took my socks and jumper because they have string in them and I might hang myself in the cell). She goes 'yep no worries' 6 hours later im freezing my fucking arsehole off laying on a concrete slab with the fresh morning breeze blowing down the hallways and I ask again and get a jumper that smells like white ox. Good.

10:30am comes around I have to bail myself out. Wanna know how much my bail was?

50 cents.

by **The Pooba** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 1:03 am

Rum comes in boxes? I mean, I know the bottles are shipped in boxes, but surely you didn't drink a case of rum, so what's this "box of rum" of which you speak?

by **nelto** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 2:07 am

24 375mL cans. box, carton, case, slab, etc.

by **Oggar** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 2:33 am

You drank 2.36 gallons of Rum before going out? I'm gonna call bullshit on that. Half the rest of the story is made incomprehensible by weird Aussie slang.

by **nelto** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 3:08 am

pre-mix rum and coke. they are 5% alcohol per volume, a carton between 2 people is 12 cans each. 4.5 litres of rum and coke over a couple of hours.

fuck. do you want to knowe anything else

by **Oggar** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 4:01 am

Ah... those things. I thought you meant 24 travel bottles/glass flasks of Rum. A case of alco-pops is a completely different beastie.

by **l...** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 10:27 am

drunk in public fine in virginia = $25. surcharge fee= $75. fucking b.s.
don't ask me how i know this. ;)

by **The Pooba** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 4:22 am

Thanks Oggar, for calling BS, cause I was gonna if nobody else did. And thanks nelto for clearing up the rum(/coke) issue; I haven't said it yet, so welcome :) . Storywise, sounds like a good night, and you only had to spend $.50 to get an arrest story out of it. I'm calling it a win-win.

BTW, nothing against rum and coke, but ever try throwing a little lime in there? Cuba libres are wonderful things.

by **fizzmaster** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:44 am

There's a way to make cuba libre's that I've only seen a Nicaraguan friend of mine do. It involves club soda, coke, lime and top shelf rum. Its extremely delicious.

by **drunkpete77** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 9:33 pm

50 cents? That's fucking ridiculous. Why would they even waste their tax dollars keeping you there over night? Doesn't quite add up.

by **Two Martini Breakfast** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 9:53 pm

I'll tell you what's ridiculous any fucking drunk in public charge anywhere in the free world where you didn't punch/piss on somebody.

by **Bluespook** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:57 pm

You got to spend the night in the drunk tank, knocking off one of the top 40 things every drunkard should do before he dies. Sounds like a pretty good night to me.

by **nelto** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 11:11 pm

3rd time round isnt as fun as getting your drunk tank cherry popped.

by **swingbozo** » Fri Jul 27, 2007 2:42 am

Welcome to the tank.

I did nothing other than try to explain to the fine upstanding police officer I was waiting for a cab to show up to wisk me home.

Night in the tank.

by **Mad Lion** » Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:52 pm

been in the tank before... no fun, no fun.

The other night though, I was walking home, and the cops pulled up and started fucking with me. I was seme-blackout drunk, and thankfully, the cops were cool enough to call me a cab. One of the few stories of the cops actually protecting and serving, I guess.

So I got handcuffed last night

So I got handcuffed last night

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