At Agaveman's suggestion, I'm adding this post by coqui_chris.
I think that what distresses me so much about this thread is that when I first found this website three years ago, I felt that I had finally stumbled upon a congregation of kindred spirits, whose heavy drinking had stigmatized and ostracizied them to a degree from normal polite well-adjusted society just as mine had.
And then I wake up one day three years later and come onto my beloved board, and people are saying things like "Well, its ok to drink, but only after you go a job where you sit at a computer and have a briefcase and a daily planner and successfully complete your teleconference for the day, then check on your mutual funds and make some online trades, then pay the mortgage and property taxes on the house that you own and make your car payments and pay for your cellphone bill and then meet with your estate's attorney and then pick your kids up from school and take them to their travel-team's soccer practice and then take them to CCD that night and then pick them up from there and take the whole family out to dinner at Applebee's, well then its finally ok to buy yourself a Big Brewtus glass, you earned it!, but only one, 'cuz you have to drive home ..."
I mean, you do what you gotta do in this world, and if that's how you do, then you've carved out a pretty commendable niche for yourself, I'd have to say. But I haven't done that, and it doesn't seem as if my life's ever going to come together like that.
Is it the result of heavy drinking? I'd say that's only a manifestation of many other disfunctional personality traits inherent to me, as well as alot of "maladjusted" world views, you might say. I certainly wouldn't say that. Hence why I have yet to -- nor, I think, ever will --- "correct myself."
Our buddy came over last night. In recent months his drinking problems, among other consumption problems, have caused him to become more of a liability than an asset at the pizza shop where a bunch of our buddies work and I still moonlight, and eventually he walked out in a manic episode. Anyways, last night he saw me sipping on a Natty Boh and requested one, saying he'd heard so much about and wanted to try it and I offered him one. He liked it alot. Then our other friend called him up and he was like "Shit, I've got a little money, I'll go out to the bar." Then he was explaining to my roommate how once he starts drinking, he's gotta keep going. He was saying how he's even delved into his parents' cooking wine before.
And then my roommate asked that the most ignorant, grating, demeaning question of them all: "Then why are you even drinking?"
Why? Why can my roommate afford 3-ft. bongs and zips of headies when he owes me $500 for cable bills and rent money. Me, who works two jobs, and whose fulltime gig was put into serious jeopardy about a month or so ago when, after a Sunday night marathon when I went to three o-clock in the morning drinking the Cheap Canadian Whiskey straight out the plastic handle, I passed out so heavily that I couldn't be aroused by not one but two alarm clocks.
See, its all relative.
My mom asks me all the time why I like to drink so much. I ask her how come she likes to go to Mass so much.
And I don't plan on stopping until the cancer. Shit, if passing out drunk on the EL during rush-hour and riding it for two-hours back and forth from end to end before I woke up and realized where I was and that I was really late getting home to my parents house, and coming home to find them teary-eyed and distraught can't teach me ...
Fuck it. Work got cancelled today. If I can't get hours at my second-job at the pizza shop, or if I can't find some sidework to do elsewhere, then just see how early I get crackin.
The bold part is my favorite.
why is my moral compass always pointed east? that's the direction of the nearest liquor store.