From the flickering beginnings
of motion pictures to the multiplex-filling offerings
of today, alcohol has played a major role in the movies.
In fact, the fabric of film history is
soggy with the stuff. The earliest silent movies used the
lure of liquor to provide dramatic conflict and drunken
slapstick to generate belly laughs. As sound entered the
picture, bootleg booze fueled gangster films and champagne
supplied the fizz for screwball comedies. Soon rotgut-swilling
private eyes and whiskey-swigging cowboys were the rage,
followed by cocktail-sipping swingers and spies. Finally,
as Hollywood moved away from the studio system and the production
code that governed it, antiheroes and subversive comedians
tested the limits of drunken misconduct.
Until recent years, the elbow-bender
had remained one of the most reliable stock characters in
the screenwriter’s bag of tricks. The antisocial inebriate
could be used to comment on the values of so-called polite
society; the swinging boozehound could set the standard
for cool; and the lovable lush could provide dependable
comic relief. Unfortunately, booze does play as large a
role in contemporary films. Political correctness and morality
run amok have mandated that alcohol be pushed into the background,
and if imbibing is given any screen time at all, it is usually
portrayed as a hazard, sin, or weakness. Liquor rarely generates
the same kind of fun in today’s films as it did in
the days of W.C. Fields, Nick and Nora Charles, or John “Bluto” Blutarsky.
The following chronologically-arranged
list celebrates the best of 100 proof cinema, from Charlie
Chaplin to Bad Santa. You’ll notice the conspicuous absence
of some of the most famous alcohol-themed flicks, such as The
Lost Weekend, The Days of Wine and Roses, and Leaving
Las Vegas. For the purposes of this list, I have avoided
films that portray alcoholism in a persistently negative
light. Drinking is fun, and so are the films that follow.
I think you’ll find that watching these films is nearly
as fun as drinking itself. Of course, you’ll probably
enjoy them even more with a full tank.
One A.M. (1916)
Charlie Chaplin, filmdom’s first megastar,
owes his entrance into the movies to booze-spiked humor.
In 1913, Mack Sennett invited the then unknown British comedian
to Keystone studios after seeing him perform his “drunk
act” during an American stage tour. Chaplin soon became
Sennett’s top box office draw, and he often mined
his inebriated stage shtick in early short subjects including His
Favorite Pastime (1914), The Rounders(1914), A
Night Out (1915), and A Night in the Show (1915).
But Chaplin’s greatest recreation of his drunk act
came three years after his film debut with the amazing 20-minute
short subject, One A.M.
The short consists of a rich rummy’s
attempts to get upstairs to his bed after a night on the
town. Chaplin takes this simple premise and turns it into
a one-man tour de force, as every prop (a goldfish bowl,
throw rugs, dual staircases, taxidermic animals, a clock,
and a coat rack) becomes a malevolent obstacle standing
between him and his goal. It culminates in the film’s
highlight, Chaplin’s epic battle with a Murphy bed
that refuses to stay on the floor. This film set the bar
for staggering slapstick.
What They’re Drinking
Mystery
liquor in a glass decanter (possibly brandy).
Intoxicating Effects
Staggering,
stumbling, and destruction of property.
Potent Quotables
Title
Card: “That’s the fastest round of
drinks I ever saw!”
Similarly Sauced Cinema
Chaplin’s
short The Cure (1917) and his
feature-length masterpiece, City Lights (1931),
are must see comedies with loads of loaded laughs.
The Thin Man (1934)
The 30’s and 40’s
saw hardboiled detectives and screwball socialites put away
liquor with equal aplomb. So when someone had the idea to
combine the detective film with the screwball comedy in
1934’s The Thin Man, it was a cocktail of
explosive magnitude.
This loose adaptation
of the Dashiell Hammett novel features William Powell as
Nick Charles, a retired detective with a Herculean capacity
for Scotch, and Myrna Loy as Nora, his equally swizzled
socialite wife. Nick is perfectly happy spending his wife’s
money on pickling his liver until the daughter of an old
client requests his help. It is only after several dead
bodies pile up that he grudgingly agrees to take the case.
Nick’s initial reluctance to investigate is perfectly
understandable, because as he states, “It’s
putting me way behind in my drinking.”
What They’re
Drinking
Gin (dry martinis), rye (straight & highballs), Scotch
(straight and with soda), champagne, cocktails.
Intoxicating Effects
Slurred speech, swaying, staggering, stumbling, sentimentality,
harmonizing, and hangovers.
Potent Quotables
NORA: Now, how many drinks have you had?
NICK: This will make six martinis.
NORA: All right. (To waiter) Will you bring me five more
martinis, Leo, and line them right up here?
Similarly Sauced Cinema
Nick and Nora returned in five sequels, After the Thin
Man (1936), Another Thin Man (1939), Shadow of the Thin
Man (1941), The Thin Man Goes Home (1944), and Song of
the Thin Man (1947). The second film is nearly as flammable
as the first, but Nick and Nora curbed the cocktails dramatically
in the later outings.
The Bank Dick (1940)
If I could nominate a single actor
to be canonized as the patron saint of 100 proof cinema,
it would have to be W.C. Fields. Not only was he the funniest
man, drunk or sober, to ever step in front of a movie camera,
no other performer before or since has managed to wring
more mirth out of a bar rag. Whether playing a hen-pecked
husband or an itinerant con man, all of W.C.s’ characters
share a hilarious misanthropic streak and a strong proclivity
for the bottle.
Although it is difficult to select
just one of Fields’ films, The Bank Dick is
a strong contender for the title of the Great Man’s
greatest, which is another way of saying that it may be
the very pinnacle of screen comedy. In this hilarious
film, Fields portrays Egbert Sousé, a small town
layabout who spends his happiest hours downing cocktails
at the Black Pussy Café. After accidentally disrupting
the getaway of bank rob bers, Sousé is rewarded with
a job as a security guard and is soon involved in embezzling
bank funds. The paper-thin plot serves as a framework on
which to hang a number of alcohol-fueled gags, including
a memorable sequence where Fields slips the bank examiner
a Mickey with the help of the Black Pussy’s bartender,
Joe (Stooge Shemp Howard).
What They’re Drinking
Straight
rye (referred to as “poultice” and “depth
bombs”), rye highballs, absinthe, whiskey.
Intoxicating Effects
Boasting,
swearing (of a sort), hiccups, slurred speech, staggering,
and passing out.
Potent Quotables
SOUSÉ:
Has Michael Finn been in here today?
JOE: No, but he will
be.
Similarly
Sauced Cinema
No fan of liquor-soaked hilarity
should miss any of the Great Man’s films. The best
include The Old Fashioned
Way (1934), It’s a Gift (1934), The
Man on the Flying Trapeze (1935), and Never Give
a Sucker an Even Break (1941).
Whisky Galore (1949)
“There’s no whiskey!” announces
the bartender. Upon hearing this dire pronouncement, a stunned
barfly ambles out of the pub and takes to his bed, dying
soon after. Thus begins Whisky Galore, a delightful
British comedy that looks back at liquor rationing during
World War II.
The story takes place on Todd ay , a
small island 100 miles off the coast of Scotland , where
the government allotment of four bottles of whiskey is nowhere
near enough to sate the thirst of its residents. Without
the golden liquid life loses all meaning for the islanders,
until a miracle happens — a ship carrying 50,000 cases of
whisky wrecks upon the rocks surrounding the island. The
crafty islanders have to overcome several obstacles on the
way to their beloved drink, including a military guard on
the ship, the local bartender who sees the cargo as a threat
to his business, and the religious requirements of the Sabbath.
Even after the islanders are once again suitably lubricated,
the narrator info rms us that all did not live happily ever
after, because the whisky eventually ran out.
What They’re Drinking
Whisky
(presumably Scotch).
Intoxicating Effects
Harmonizing,
hiccups, loosened inhibitions, and bravado.
Potent Quotables
NARRATOR:
Whiskey… usquebaugh… in
Gaelic they call it “the water of life,” and
to a true islander, life without it is not worth living.
Similarly Sauced Cinema
In
the World War II comedy The Secret of Santa Vittoria(1969)
the mayor (Anthony Quinn) of a small Italian town leads
the populace in their attempt to hide a million bottles
of wine from the advancing Germans.
Robin and the 7 Hoods (1964)
No list of alcohol-soaked cinema
would be complete without the Rat Pack. Unfortunately, most
of their films lack the fizz and swagger of their historic
nightclub act. Apart from Dino’s unforgettable rendition
of “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head,” Ocean’s
Eleven (1960) is a bit of a snooze, and the warmed-over Gunga
Din remake, Sergeant’s
3 (1962), is best forgotten altogether. That leaves Robin
and the 7 Hoods, easily the giddiest of the Rat Pack’s
films and more importantly the tipsiest.
This gangsterfied version of Robin
Hood, set in 1920’s Chicago , concerns Robbo’s
(Frank Sinatra) efforts to wrench control of the liquor
and gambling trade from rival mobster Guy Gisborne (Peter
Falk). Robbo’s gang of merry men, including Little
John (Dean Martin), Will (Sammy Davis Jr.), and Alan A.
Dale (Bing Crosby), all get the opportunity to croon between
sips of bootleg hooch, but the highlight of the film is
when they join together to sing satirically of the evils
of drink with the rousing temperance number, “Mr.
Booze.”
What They’re Drinking
Champagne
, whiskey, Cointreau, brandy.
Intoxicating Effects
None.
The Pack hold their liquor with class.
Potent Quotables
JOHN:
A hundred thousand hangovers down the drain.
Similarly Sauced Cinema
Frank
and Dean put away the booze like pros in their first film
together, Some Came Running (1958).
Cat Ballou (1965)
From the shorts of silent film
star William S. Hart to HBO’s Deadwood, liquor has
played an essential role in Western storytelling. Any number
of oaters could have qualified for this list, but the Western
comedy Cat Ballou may well be the most bleary eyed,
thanks to Lee Marvin’s Oscar-winning performance as
the alky gunslinger Kid Shelleen.
Shelleen comes to the aid of Catherine
Ballou (Jane Fonda), an inexperienced schoolteacher, when
the crooked authorities of Wolf City try to force her father
off his land. With Shelleen’s help, Cat soon finds herself
in custody with a noose around her neck. The film features
plenty of drunken horseback riding and gunplay, but the
most memorable image is that of the hungover Shelleen atop
a woozy, cross-legged horse.
What They’re Drinking
Whiskey.
Intoxicating Effects
Slurred
speech, bad breath, staggering , passing out, harmonizing,
drunk horseback riding, bravado, public disturbance, destruction
of property, physical violence, and hangovers.
Potent Quotables
JACKSON
: Look at your eyes.
SHELLEEN: What’s wrong with my
eyes?
JACKSON : They’re red … bloodshot.
SHELLEEN:
You ought to see ‘ em from my side.
Similarly Sauced Cinema
Other
memorable drunken cowboys include Dude (Dean Martin), a
deputy who attempts to cure his alcoholism by drinking beer,
in Rio Bravo (1959), and the Waco Kid (Gene
Wilder), the gunfighter with the shakiest gun hand in movie
history, in Blazing Saddles (1974).
National Lampoon’s Animal House
(1978)
If you can remember your college years,
you didn’t fully enjoy your college years. No film
captures that perfect pairing of liquor and higher education
quite so well as National Lampoon’s Animal House. This
subversive campus comedy set in the early 60’s concerns
the hijinks (drunken, illegal, sexual, and otherwise) of
the denizens of Delta House, Faber College ’s rowdiest,
dirtiest, drinkin’est frat. The Deltas are an embarrassment
to Dean Wormer (the wonderfully slimy John Vernon), who
puts the boys on “double-secret p rob ation” and
tries to shut down the house with the help of the Omegas,
a rival preppy fraternity. Of course the Deltas retaliate
with the mother of all stupid, disgusting, alcohol-fueled
pranks.
Animal House is most notable for introducing
the world to the most iconic of all movie party animals,
John “ Bluto” Blutarsky. Portrayed with sloppy,
vulgar vitality by John Belushi, Blutarsky is utterly unforgettable
because his character is so true to life. Everyone knew
a beer-swilling merrymaker like Bluto back in his or her
college days. That is, unless you were the Bluto Blutarsky
of your college. Toga! Toga! Toga!
What They’re Drinking
Bourbon,
beer, spiked punch.
Intoxicating Effects
Belching,
staggering, stumbling, swearing, passing out, public urination,
vomiting, harmonizing, drunk driving, destruction of property,
loosened inhibitions, and soused sex.
Potent Quotables
BLUTO:
My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
OTTER: You
better listen to him, Flounder. He’s
in premed.
Similarly Sauced Cinema
Hollywood
tried to recapture the magic of Animal
House’s R-rated campus humor with the 2003 comedy Old
School but the results were a mixed bag.
Drunken Master
(1978)
If asked to name the greatest
boozing action hero most people would immediately answer
James Bond, but they’d be dead wrong. “Vodka
martini, shaken not stirred” — what kind of
a prissy drink order is that? Shaken … stirred… who
gives a shit?! Just don’t skimp on the booze. Let’s
face it; Bond is a cocktail sipper at best.
Wong Fei-Hung, on the other hand, is
as heroic in his alcohol intake as he is in the face of
danger. This legendary Chinese folk hero had been depicted
in numerous films before Jackie Chan shot to stardom with
his inebriated take on the character in 1978’s Drunken Master. The
drunken master of the title is Fei-Hung’s uncle, Su
Hia-Chi, a renowned martial arts master and wino, to whom
the young Fei-Hung is sent as a punishment after disgracing
his family. Under the old man’s tutelage, Fei-Hung
learns the secrets of drunken boxing, a style of Kung Fu
that imitates the groggy motions of a lush. This method
of fighting is most powerful if the user first gets pie-eyed
drunk, a condition to which Fei-Hung happily adheres. With
his new knowledge and a bellyful of 100 proof wine, Wong
Fei-Hung saves his family from a hired assassin and emerges
as a new drunken master.
What They’re Drinking
Wine
(standard and 100 proof).
Intoxicating Effects
Staggering,
passing out, the shakes, hiccups, public disturbance, destruction
of property, and physical violence
Potent Quotables
SU HUA-CHI:
To study my style, you’ll find it easier
if you have a drink first.
Similarly Sauced Cinema
Jackie
Chan reprised the role of Wong Fei-Hung in 1994’s Drunken
Master II ( akaThe Legend of Drunken Master).
Both the stunt work and juicing are supercharged in the
sequel, including Fei-Hung’s consumption of industrial
alcohol to increase his strength during the final battle.
Arthur (1981)
Writer/director Steve Gordon
concocted this affectionate throwback to screwball comedies
of the 30’s and included all the trappings of the
genre — witty dialogue, wealthy socialites, romantic
hurdles and vast quantities of liquor. Dudley Moore portrays
the film’s title character, everyone’s favorite
good-natured inebriate, Arthur Bach. Arthur is a giggling,
drunken millionaire who simply wants to be loved. Unfortunately,
his grasping relatives expect Arthur to augment their empire
by marrying him off to the daughter of an equally rich businessman.
When Arthur falls for a working-class waitress ( Liza Minnelli)
instead, he must choose between love and $750 million.
Arthur turned out to be one of
the funniest films of the 80’s, and the sparkling
writing brought out career-topping work from Moore, Minnelli,
and John Geilgud (as Arthur’s butler and father figure,
Hobson). It’s a shame Steve Gordon died only a year
after directing it, his first and only film. We could have
used a few more classy cocktails like this one.
What They’re Drinking
Scotch,
gin (martinis), beer, and champagne.
Intoxicating Effects
Slurred
speech, the giggles, swearing, staggering, stumbling, bad
breath, soused sex, drunk driving, passing out, and public
disturbance.
Potent Quotables
ARTHUR:
This is what I am. Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Some
of us drink because we’re not poets.
SUSAN: A real
woman could stop you from drinking.
ARTHUR: It would have to be a real big woman.
Similarly Sauced Cinema
Other
lovable drunks include Jack Griffith (Jackie Gleason) in Papa’s
Delicate Condition (1963) and Alan
Swann (Peter O’Toole) in My Favorite Year (1982).
Strange Brew (1983)
Good day, eh. Rick Moranis and
Dave Thomas created the characters of the beer-loving Canucks,
Bob and Doug McKenzie, for the sketch comedy show SCTV in
order to mock Canada ’s broadcast rules that require
television networks to include “Canadian content” in
their programming. Due to their popularity, the McKenzie
brothers not only became series regulars, they eventually
leapt to the big screen in Strange Brew, the ultimate
cinematic love letter to beer.
From the opening logo, when the MGM
lion lets out a belch, Strange Brew promises to
be stupid and sudsy in the best way. The plot gets moving
when Bob and Doug try to get free beer from the Elsinore
Brewery with their “mouse in an empty beer bottle” trick.
Instead of beer, the boys are given jobs at the brewery,
and they soon find themselves entangled in a family power
struggle (borrowed heavily from Shakespeare’s Hamlet)
and a plot to take over the world by lacing beer with a
mind-controlling drug. When the tainted beer is delivered
to the local Oktoberfest celebration, only Bob, Doug, and
their alcoholic dog, Hosehead, can save the day, eh.
What They’re Drinking
Beer.
Intoxicating Effects
Belching, public urination, hockey.
Potent Quotables
BOB:
This movie was shot in 3-B — three beers,
and it looks good, eh.
DOUG: Hoserama. Call it Hoserama,
eh.
Similarly Sauced Cinema
In
1999 Bob and Doug were set to return for a sequel titled Home
Brew, but the financing fell
through, dooming the project. They did play a variation
of the characters as talking moose in the animated film Brother
Bear (2003).
Barfly (1987)
Charles Bukowski, like most
of the greatest writers of the 20th Century, was a heavy
drinker, lending an him insider’s view of the drunken
underclass he celebrated in his poetry and prose. Bukowski’s
world of stewbums and lushes was brought brilliantly to
the screen in Barfly, a quirky, liquored love story,
scripted by the master himself.
Mickey Rourke expertly mimics Bukowski’s
voice and mannerisms as Henry Chinaski, a full-time hooch
hound who enjoys nothing more than spending his hours at
the Skid Row dive The Golden Horn, downing Scotch and trading
bare-knuckled blows with the bartender, Eddie (Frank Stallone).
When Henry encounters Wanda (Faye Dunaway), a floozy willing
to sell herself for a drink, he realizes that he’s
found his soul mate, but the romance is far from smooth.
A rich magazine editor (Alice Krige) wants Henry for herself,
and Henry is forced to choose between a comfortable writer’s
life and sloppy drunkenness with Wanda. Of course, he chooses
the booze. Keep an eye out for the real Bukowski who makes
a cameo as — what else? — a barfly.
What They’re Drinking
Scotch,
beer, wine, whiskey.
Intoxicating Effects
Bravado,
public disturbance, physical violence, staggering, stumbling,
swearing, soused sex, hangovers, the shakes, and round-buying.
Potent Quotables
HENRY:
Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to
be a drunk. It takes endurance. Endurance is more important
than truth.
Similarly Sauced Cinema
John
ny Depp masterfully captured the essence of Hunter S. Thompson,
another great drunkard writer, in Fear
and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998), and Matt Dillon reprises
Henry Chinaski in the soon to be released Factotum (2005),
based on the Bukowski novel of the same title.
Bad Santa (2003)
Twenty-First Century booze humor got
off to a great start with Bad Santa, a laugh-out loud
dark comedy that can proudly stand head-to-head with the
best work of the Great Man, W.C. Fields. In the film a small-time
safecracker Willie Soak ( Bill y Bob Thornton) and his dwarf
partner Marcus (Tony Cox) take jobs each year as a department
store Santa and Elf to case the businesses they plan to
rob . Unfortunately, Willie has become unreliable because
he’s a drunk. Not a good-natured drunk like Dudley
Moore’s Arthur, but a bad tempered, foul-mouthed,
suicidal, pissing-his-pants drunk. To further complicate
the planned heist, Willie finds he can’t shake a weird,
fat kid (Brett Kelly) who still believes in Santa Claus.
Thankfully, this is not the type of
film where a grumpy adult learns the true meaning of Christmas
from a lovable waif. Bad Santa is vile, depraved,
gross, and at times near tragic, but the film manages to
get away with its dark subject matter because it is uproariously
funny. If you hate Christmas or you just love liquored laughs,
Bad Santa will have you in hysterics for days after viewing
it.
What They’re Drinking
Bourbon,
beer, vodka.
Intoxicating Effects
Swearing,
staggering, stumbling, vomiting, public urination, soused
sex, passing out, the shakes, public disturbance, destruction
of property, and physical violence.
Potent Quotables
WILLIE:
You can’t drink worth a shit. You know
that?
MARCUS: I weight 92 pounds, you dick.
Similarly Sauced Cinema
Coach
Buttermaker (Walter Matthau) in The Bad News
Bears (1976) also mixed kids and alcohol with amusing
results, so it wasn’t surprising that Bill y Bob
agreed to put his stamp on the role in the 2005 remake.
—William Garver
