The Andy Griffith Show is widely considered
one of the most innocent and endearing television shows
of all times.
Yet drunkenness and moonshining were major comic devices
used on the show across eight seasons, in addition
to domestic violence, homelessness, the Confederacy,
herpes, smoking in bed, cross-dressing and the occult,
all heightened with canned laugh tracks. In Mayberry
you are either stone sober or bleary-eyed drunk, with
no moderate drinking indicated or shown.
There is, of course, the town drunk, Otis, who acquires
bootleg liquor from various moonshiners in that dry
county on a regular basis and regularly celebrates
the anniversary of his first drink. But others are
also getting drunk in Mayberry. Barney Fife is drunk
at least three times, once with Otis in jail, once
by accident, and another time by imbibing “Mulberry
squeezins” made by the Darlings, in the middle
of the day. He gossips about the dipsomania in town
whilst tracking down and smashing stills. (His cross-dressing,
dabbling in the occult and chain letters are not within
the scope of this article.)
Mayor Stoner is inebriated, as well as Aunt Bea and
the Women’s Auxiliary, both midday, and even
Opie’s chicken, which Andy described as “sozzled.” This
drunk chicken was shown fully sloshed, unable to stand.
Feigning drunkenness was British visitor Malcolm Merriweather’s
way of losing his job at Andy’s house on purpose.
Bootleggers included the obvious hillbillies like Rafe
Hollister, Ben Sewell, Rube Sloan, Jubel (who accidentally
burned down his own barn while making hooch) and a
third generation dirt farmer being displaced for a
highway, who was producing moonshine in his chicken
coop. But there were also two elderly ladies, Miss
Jennifer and Miss Clarabelle, the Morrisson sisters
who produced out of their hot house next to their prize
flowers, “only for special occasions.” I’ll
wager most of the population has learned about stills
and moonshining from the Andy Griffith Show.
Mayberry’s
town drunk Otis Campbell weaved and wobbled his way
into television history. He acts like a baby when drunk,
sees pink elephants, sings gilded age songs, and takes
on a child-like charm. He comes in regularly on Saturday
nights. One terrible morning after, Andy prepares a
remark-able hangover cure for him. This is the recipe:
take a tall glass of orange juice, add a big splash
of A-1 sauce, a medium dash each of Worcestershire
sauce and Tabasco, and plop in a jumbo raw egg. Andy
calls it a “fixer-up,” “to
hep ya enjoy your food.” The question is, how
does Andy know of this powerful hang-over cure? Hmm?
He is never seen drinking, except one time when hooch
is accidentally sprayed in his mouth as Barney is smashing
the elderly women’s still. Otherwise he drinks
nothing stronger than a phosphate, until the seventh
season.
The problem of Otis’s drinking and driving is
handled in one episode, but he sells the car before
going drunk driving. When his brother is in town, we
learn that drunkenness is hereditary in the Campbell
family. Oddly enough, Otis only drinks on the weekend.
What kind of an alcoholic is that?
Barney’s drinking is a more complex subject.
He seemingly can’t distinguish the difference
between the taste of hard water and hard liquor. That’s
how Andy discovered Jubel’s bootlegging operation
that was housed in his barn which burned. After several
dippers of what Barney thought was well water, he became
so pie-eyed that Jubel and Andy had to carry him to
the squad car. In the episode in which Barney gave
the governor a ticket, Otis has been incarcerated and
poured his booze in the spring water crock, and all
Barney and Mayor Stoner can say after they drink from
the crock is that it needed cleaning out. In the meantime
they both got crocked.
Barney has a depressive reaction to liquor, getting
drunk very quickly due to “an immediate liver
reaction,” tending to drench himself in a morass
of self-pity and transposing the first letters of words
in phrases, like “put that in your pipe and poke
it.”
When not accidentally drunk he gossips
about other Mayberry boozers, like Sam Burton, husband
of the long suffering Mrs. Burton, and the soon to
be divorced drinker Loraine Fletcher, indicating their
drinking by shaping his hand like a bottle, tilting
the head, and faking the sound of swallowing, “dlt
dlt dlt dlt dlt dlt dtl dlt dtl.” The character
of Barney Fife received enormous popular validation
when Don Knotts was awarded 5 Emmys in a row in the
1960’s.
Aunt Bea’s stupor was caused by a tonic sold
to her in the very streets of Mayberry. After she had
half a bottle and was feeling great, she turned on
the whole Women’s Auxiliary. They have a wild
party in the early afternoon with singing and piano
playing and were all arrested a bit later by Andy for
being “gassed.”
Oddly enough Aunt Bea’s close friend Clara Edwards
was not amongst them that time. All across the eight
seasons of “The Andy Griffith Show” she
is the epitome of absolute temperance, reverence and
sobriety. But check her out in the final scene of Rosemary’s
Baby when she raises a big glass of wine and hollers “Hail
Satan!”
Makes one ponder if there are not suppressed episodes
of “The Andy Griffith Show.”
—Joel Haertling