The Brooding Sociopath
Always alone, always angry, this tightly wound brute is just waiting for a suitable reason to go berserk, such as eye-contact, adjusting one’s hat the wrong way or belonging to the secret society that keeps hiding his “spatula of vengeance.”

Invading his personal space is also an invitation to attack. His personal space consists of as far as he can see, including mirrors. Especially mirrors. His mood may shift radically from moment to moment, vacillating wildly from the relatively placid “Plotting Murderous Revenge” to the ferocious “Rabid Werewolf Frenzy.”

A word of caution: If he starts barking loudly at you from across the bar, it is best to refrain from saying, “What’s wrong, boy? Trouble at the Old Mill?”

Distinguishing Characteristics
Disagreeable body odor, wildly rolling eyes, “spatula of vengeance” protruding from his pocket.

Drinking Habits
Bottled beer, because it’s too easy for the Illuminati spy posing as a bartender to slip “mind-control substances” into a draft.

Mating Call
“Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!”

Best Defense
Lift your watch to your lips and shout, “Response Team! He’s here! Move in! Move in!”