Problem: While “inventorying” a roommate’s possessions, you innocently stumble upon a hidden bottle of liquor.

Solution: You may assume that your roommate was hiding the bottle because he intended to present it to you as gift on a later occasion. If you wish, you may hasten the celebration by partaking of the bottle. If, upon his return, your roommate protests your initiative, you may shriek, “Goddamn Indian giver!” and smite him across the jowls with the empty bottle.