Royal Order of the 86
Motto: “I promise to be good this time.”
Awarded for aggressively assaulting the patience of the most tolerant of bartenders; for never being so sober he can’t get into a scuffle with a blind Buddhist; for testing the headlock proficiency of bouncers the world over. And when the battles are over, these audacious souls still find the courage to walk into bars where their name is the basest of curses and say, “Oh, c’mon! That goddamn Buddhist was eye-fucking me all night!”